God's Intricate Pattern; Trusting God During Cancer Treatment


Recently, my husband and I travelled to the West Coast for our 19th Wedding Anniversary. While we were there, we toured an aquarium and I was fascinated with one sea creature in particular. Are you familiar with the Chambered Nautilus? 

The Nautilus’ claim to fame is its beautiful shell. This shell is often referred to as a universal symbol of growth and transformation, and in our Christian tradition, it represents faith and renewal.

Another thing that makes the Nautilus unique is the way that as it grows within its shell. This creature starts out very small in the inner-most center chamber of its shell, and as it grows and needs more space, it moves forward and outward, closing the  door on the previous, smaller area that it once lived in. This forward growth creates the beautiful shape you see that spirals outward in this intricate pattern.

As I learned about the Nautilus, I connected to the idea that we are also moving through various stages of life, of growth and transformation, of faith and renewal. We also can grow and move forward!

Growth and renewal can come in so many ways, and the catalyst of change may be different for every single person, but for me, growth and renewal came recently during a season of struggle due to a medical crisis. You see, almost three years ago, in August 2021, I was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of Breast Cancer. 
Without going into too much detail, I woke up on the morning of my birthday with physical symptoms that I couldn’t ignore. I was visiting my family in Louisiana, but as soon as I could make it back to Utah, my Doctor began a series of tests and scans, which resulted in my diagnosis.

Within two weeks, I began a year long treatment plan which included chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, and other therapies.
This treatment would compromise my immune system, and required my husband and I to isolate ourselves at home. So we began several months of working remotely, watching church on Youtube, and having groceries delivered. It’s a good thing that we enjoy each others company because there was a lot of together time!

And during that time, our church family was there to support us in so many ways and we were so grateful for that support. Thank you for every text, phone call, visit, and Meal Train delivery - it was such a blessing to us. 

It was very difficult time, but during that year, God intervened for us in so many amazing ways. For instance, we had prayed that my treatment would be successful and that I would have a complete response therapy. Just one week into treatment, to my surprise, my tumor was completely gone! I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I was shocked; for me, it’s easy to believe for healing in someone else’s situation, but when God moves in my own life, it’s a surprising and humbling experience! And I give Him all the praise.

And again: During my baseline scans, it was discovered that in addition to my initial diagnosis, I also had spots on my lungs, a tumor in my liver, and we were told to prepare ourselves as it was highly likely that the cancer had already spread throughout my body. We continued with the tests, but our families, my husband and I began to reach out to everyone we knew and request that they pray. The next week, my oncologist told us the good news - that the tumor in my liver was non-cancerous, the cancer was localized, and it had not spread. Thank you Lord - another answer to prayer! 
But the biggest miracle of all was that although I should have been filled with fear and anxiety during this time, I felt calm, and even joyful. How was that possible? I can only say that it was through trust in God! I had a peace and lack of anxiety that I’d never known, even during my healthy days. 
Also, I felt that God was giving me a chance to grow in my understanding of Him as He renewed my faith every day. The ways that God describes Himself in the Bible became very real to me. For instance:

  • He is the Comforter of Isaiah 61, giving us peace beyond anything we can understand. 
  • He is the Gentle Shepherd of Psalms 23, who walks with us even through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. 
  • He is our Friend when we are lonely. No circumstance can ever separate me from His love, Romans 8.
So you may not be dealing with a physical challenge. In fact, everything may be great in your life, but you might feel a desire for more that you can’t explain. Could it be that God is calling you to grow forward into something new? I encourage you to trust Him and ask what He wants to teach you about Himself. How does He want you to grow and transform? Is He moving you forward to a new level of faith?

Our friend the Nautilus never sees the beautiful pattern that its shell makes - and its the same for us, we may not see the pattern of our lives as we move through seasons of growth and transformation, of faith and renewal. But God, Who made us with so much love and care, knows our whole story. He sees the beautiful, intricate pattern of our lives. 
He knows you and He loves you. You can place your faith in Him, because He created you and He has a plan for your life. Will you trust Him today to grow and transform you, to renew your faith, so that you can leave the old things behind and move into what He has planned for you?

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